Sleep Like A Baby

The complexity of sleep dominated much of my thinking after the birth of my son. Controlling the layers of noise, duration of and space between feedings, feel of fabric...what else could I possibly adjust?! After thirteen and a half months of 4-7 night wakings and naps that rarely reached an hour, he finally slept through the night. I had used so much energy forcing a habit that he naturally adjusted to after weaning was complete. 

Now with my daughter, I am determined to not stress over behaviors and reactions I cannot control (truly the first lesson of parenthood). No breastfeeding journals, not pumping for that glorious bottle that might offer me a nap and I refuse to count how many hours of sleep I had the night before. Mind over matter. The mind is weak when sleep is unravelled and I find myself close to incapable of multitasking. Multitasking is the champion of motherhood, but I have never excelled. I allow myself to press pause fully on one thought before entering another. One snuggle, one nursing, one meal after another. One long night at a time. 

The beauty of this sleepless journey is that your love grows quickly. Love is Sacrifice. This truth works to catapult a mother's growth rate of love. I sacrifice through the day AND the night. Double portions. I soak in the completeness of this connection to her needs. Nothing in this world compares to the commitment my body and mind have made to her. My sweet night owl.  

Sleep that knits up the ravelled sleeve of care,

The death of each day’s life, sore labour’s bath,

Balm of hurt minds, great nature’s second course, 

Chief nourisher in life’s feast. 

-Shakespeare, Macbeth