FORCED TO BLOOM
It is turning out to be a slow crawl into my second postpartum experience. I had planned to avoid the stress of that last wait, but I have not succeeded. My son was twelve days past the guess date, and I had to unplug from social media entirely so my head wouldn't explode. "Eat something spicy! Walk that baby out! I had all my babies on their due dates, so you better go home and be ready! Have sex!"
And these comments came from strangers. Family and friends were not any more subtle. "Any contractions today?" "Come on! We want to meet him!"
Okay, let me just start up contractions here. I think there is a button for that.
Sarcasm aside, the stress was real. This time the only difference is that I have had braxton hicks contractions and then what is distressingly referred to as "false labor". My husband started his five days of paid leave, and the clock is literally ticking.
A long walk in the desert this morning eased some tension from my shoulders and spine. The cactus are in bud and partial bloom stages. The saguaro look ready to burst open. Their blooms only last for 24hours, so don't blink. I began to imagine myself forcing these buds to bloom. Digging my nails into the tightly folded seams on the outside and prying the young pedals away from the center. Forcing them to bloom.
As talk of induction looms, I find comfort in this desert landscape. The created beauty that takes time. Time that we are willing to give it, because it does not disturb our plans.
And these comments came from strangers. Family and friends were not any more subtle. "Any contractions today?" "Come on! We want to meet him!"
Okay, let me just start up contractions here. I think there is a button for that.
Sarcasm aside, the stress was real. This time the only difference is that I have had braxton hicks contractions and then what is distressingly referred to as "false labor". My husband started his five days of paid leave, and the clock is literally ticking.
A long walk in the desert this morning eased some tension from my shoulders and spine. The cactus are in bud and partial bloom stages. The saguaro look ready to burst open. Their blooms only last for 24hours, so don't blink. I began to imagine myself forcing these buds to bloom. Digging my nails into the tightly folded seams on the outside and prying the young pedals away from the center. Forcing them to bloom.
As talk of induction looms, I find comfort in this desert landscape. The created beauty that takes time. Time that we are willing to give it, because it does not disturb our plans.
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